HELP! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK

We must stop this immediately!

People are less considerate these days, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and he has aged so much that he didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor guy while I was shaving this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection….even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You’re risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size “small” or “medium,” as large and extra-large. Do they think no one notices?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Ha! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on, but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too…they’ve lowered the volume on my phone so I can’t have a decent conversation.

All I can do is pass along this warning.

P.S. I am sending this to you in a nice large size print, because something has happened to my computer’s fonts – they are smaller than they once were.