WORD OF NEW DOG URINAL LEAKS OUT

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HOLLYWOOD, FL: – It is well known that dogs have good ears. That proved to be true recently when over 600 canines lined up to urinate on the new dogwood tree in what’s left of Lincoln Park near the site of the Montessori Village school. The tree was not supposed to be available to the doggie public until late August but the word leaked out to the ‘lift a leg’ crowd and dogs from Teacups to great Danes assembled yesterday to mark their territory. “The tree has a special bark which attracts the dogs,” said park official Chuck Carl. “We buried lots of pennies around the tree so they could pick up a cent. There are a lot of places in the area they could let it whiz, but they wait patiently in line to get a shot at the tree. The place is like the Nirvana of poochie pee.”

Ironically, the adjoining school has pissed off lots lots of Lincoln Park area parents whose children were not allowed to attend Beachside Elementary.

Instead, the student body is made up of kids from an A list of Hollywood’s movers and shakers. “My son Carlos was screwed out of attending but at least my pitbull can enjoy that tree,” said Chuy Montoya, who lives across the street from the school. “Plus he’s helped me save money on dog food by eating six poodles the first week. That dogwood tree has given us both a new leash on life.”