For the women:
Why Some Women Have Dogs And Not Husbands

1. Dogs think you are just as attractive now as you were 20 lbs. ago.

2. You can neuter a dog any time you want.

3. Dogs don’t have mothers-in-law who find fault with everything you do (or don’t do) for their “precious boy.”

4. A dog will never ask if he can buy a boat.

5 Dogs do not disappear for hours playing golf.

6. Dogs are happy to watch romantic comedies, rather than football.

7. Dogs are loyal. Even if they hump your best friend’s leg, they will do it in front of you and not try to go home with her.

8. Dogs will never complain about how much you spend on personal grooming.

9. A dog will never contradict you in front of your child or give you small appliances for your birthday or Christmas.

10. A dog will never use all the hot water and leave soppy towels on the bathroom floor.

11. A dog is always willing to listen to you—without trying to solve all your problems.

12. A dog will kiss you when you are crying your eyes out—not accuse you of being “manipulative.”

13. A dog does not believe he can fix anything just because he has a Y chromosome. His manhood will not be threatened when you call a plumber.

I4. Dogs will eat anything you give them—happily and without complaining.

                            For the men:

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk..

7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”

9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.

And last, but not least:

12. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who’s happy to see you.

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