A HEARTBREAKER FROM “DEAR ABBY”

My husband hasn’t worked for the last 18 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies.
I know he’s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his granddaughters. I know this because he brags about it to me.
He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive liquor day and night.
We sleep in separate beds because he tells me he knows I’m a lesbian and besides that, my varicose veins and fat behind turn him off.
Abby, should I clobber him with something heavy, or should I just leave him?

Sincerely,
MAD AS HELL,

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Dear MAD AS HELL,

You don’t have to take that kind of treatment from any man. I suggest you pack your bags and move out ASAP. Don’t resort to violence. And, try to act more like a lady. Remember, you were almost elected President of the United States, so try acting like one.