AN OLDIES WORDS OF WISDOM

I buy Campbell’s Alphabet Soup…with the new large type.

“Snap – Crackle – Pop…that’s my friggin bones in the morning, not my Rice Krispies.

I was taught to respect my elders. Now I don’t have anyone left to respect.

At my age the only thing that gets hard is my arteries.

Half the names in my phone book end in…M.D.

My wife keeps giving me sound advice…99% sound, 1% advice.

Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

The only trouble with retirement is you never get a day off.

Goodbye tension! Hello pension.