Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been longtime close friends. But, being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion. It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend. When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs, and kisses.

Mrs. Murphy said, “Don’t be holdin’ back now, Mrs. Cohen, how do you like it here?”

Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and the caretakers. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she said, “But the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend.” Mrs. Murphy said, “Begorrah! Isn’t that wonderful! Tell me all about it.”

Mrs. Cohen said, “Well, after lunch, we go up to my room and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the top, and then on the bottom, and then we sing Jewish songs.” Mrs. Murphy said, “For sure it’s a blessing. I’m so glad for you, Mrs. Cohen.”

Mrs. Cohen said, “And how is it by you, Mrs. Murphy?”

Mrs. Murphy said it was also wonderful at her new Catholic facility, and that she also had a boyfriend.

Mrs. Cohen said, “Good I love that you met someone! So tell me what do you do?”
Mrs. Murphy said, “We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on top, and then I let him touch me down below.”

Mrs. Cohen said, “Yes? And then…?”

Mrs. Murphy said, “Well, since we don’t know any Jewish songs, we screw.”

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