Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied being an oldie, and wish you could go back to your youth… think of Algebra, Trigonometry, homework…then think again.

And if some swaggering youngster who thinks youth lasts forever throws you a question like…”Hey, who the hell wants to live to be 90?” Just inform him…’A guy that’s 89.’

As you get older you forget names, and then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down. The first things that go are the knees…first your right knee then your left knee the your weenie.

Never go to a school reunion because the realization of old age hits you between the eyes when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

Some people try to turn back their odometers by having plastic surgery. My advice, don’t try it.

The day will come when everything either dries up or leaks.
But in spite of all that — there’s one thing you should tell yourself…It’s good to be above ground!

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