WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE IN YOUR NINETIES

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can live without sex but not your glasses.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

If you still drive, it’s slow and careful, you no longer challenge the posted highway speed limits.