Maxine on Driver Safety… “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making obscene gestures.”

Maxine on Housework… “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

Maxine on Lawn Care …The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

Maxine on The Perfect Man… “All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.”

Maxine on Technology Revolution… “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”

Maxine on Aging… Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita.”

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