WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
~Mae West

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend. If you have one.”
~George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second … if there is one.”
~Winston Churchill, in response

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
~Clarence Darrow

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
~Mark Twain

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
~William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
~Moses Hadas