WISE OLD BEN

Q: You have been known as a wise and frugal man, so can you give our younger readers some advice about the value of money?
A: If you would know the value of money, try to borrow some.

Q: I hear you have many friends that come from great distances to visit you and learn from your sage advice.
A Yes! but I will say this about them all, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

Q: Are there any absolutes or certainties in life?
A: Certainties? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Q: Do you have many close friends?
A: There are 3 faithful friends in a lifetime that a man may have. An old wife, an old dog and ready money.

Q. Upon reflection, do you like the wise and witty person you have become?
A: Yes! But remember he that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Q: What would you say is one of life’s great tragedies?
A: Life’s great tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.

Q:. We know you have done many good deeds and favors for your friends; how have you been rewarded?
A: Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones with ingratitude.

Q: And now, sir, my closing question, which many of our readers look forward to: Is it true that your Jewish mother often warned….”Benny, stop playing around already with the ‘fershtunkener’ kite; there’s lightning; you’ll kill yourself?”