LOCKED OUT!

By Harvey Tobkes

Excerpt of an e-mail from my cousin Greg…

Dear Cousin Harvey:

Back in 1988, you and Anita invited us to dinner one evening in your Riverdale apartment. Helene and I were newlyweds at the time, and what I clearly remember is that for some reason there was a lock and chain around your refrigerator in the living room. Why? Were you planning to paint the apartment?

My reply…
Dear Cousin Greg:

If you said you saw a chain with a padlock around the refrigerator, I would say you definitely saw my refrigerator. After all, G.E. doesn’t make that kind of a set-up, but Anita does. You see, she was fed up (no pun intended) with my voracious noshing and every time she wanted to get some food out of the fridge, all she could find in there was the light bulb. So, she put me on a forced diet and controlled my noshing at the same time. Another benefit was she was able to feed herself and the kids, all by being a little innovative and buying a lock and chain.

P.S. You are not crazy! We are crazy, but not crazy enough to put a refrigerator in the living room; except for the evening you visited. You see,we were expecting Sears to deliver our new side-by-side fridge early the next morning, and we wanted to make it simple for them to install the new and take away the old. But Anita wasn’t taking any chances, she plugged the old fridge into the wall socket while awaiting the new one.