I MISS THE COMEDIANS OF THE “GOOD OLD DAYS”

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You may remember (if you’re old enough) the Jewish Catskill comics viz., Buddy Hackett, Shecky Green, Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Alan King, Milton Berle,and others. I miss their humor? Here are some examples:

I was just in London – there is a 6-hour time difference. I’m still confused.. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, “What part is it? The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.”
The mother scowls and says, “Go back! You tell that teacher you want a speaking part.”

There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says,” Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living.”

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me !

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That as only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs.. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdales.

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish grandmother on the street and said “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days. “Force yourself,” she replied.


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